Good morning class! … Good Morning Ms. Audacious! Yes, a good morning indeed. It is so wonderful to see you all have successfully made it here after your respective Friday The 13th shenanigans. I assume everything is alright and you’ve all secured the essential items I have detailed in my email that you should bring. Yes Ms. Audacious! Excellent, Now lets begin. I have asked you all to bring a knee-length fur coat, blonde wig (preferably cut into a bob or any Karen style), dark glasses, pumps, a little black dress, and your most appropriate whyte privilege accent. Yes, I know I’m excited as well. Can anyone guess who our muse is today? Yep that’s correct, today we are going to examine the likes of Joanne the Scammer!
First, we will discuss campaigning allyship to get your way only to turncoat for your opponent. Please examine documentation regarding Texas State Representative Shawn Thierry. A scam, indeed. Gaining votes from LGBTQ+ people just to turn around and “Uno out” with the thoughtful legislator, mother of faith, and advocate for the wellbeing of young people cards. Oh, she speaks RWVE (Right-Wing Vernacular English) pretty well. Representative Thierry has confuddled her people. Voting yes on HB 900 (Book Banning Bill) and SB 14 (Gender Affirming Care) does not align with the pledged support she promised during her campaign (sounds familiar?). With both bills effective September 1st, Shawn Thierry has made it clear that everything what your people thought they knew, was a lie.
Moving along, I encourage you all to follow me to the pages of Kitara Ravache, New York State Representative of the 3rd congressional district… -Yes Oliver, I see your hand is raised? Ms. Audacious, Kitara Ravache does not exist. Does not exist, how so Oliver? Well, according to the sources, Kitara is an alias used in lieu of George Santos’s identity as a drag superstar, yet he denies the claims. You know what else George Santos denies Oliver? 1 count conspiracy to commit offenses against the US, 2 counts wire fraud, 2 counts making materially false statements to the Federal Election Commission (FEC), 2 counts falsifying records, 2 counts of aggravated identity theft, 1 count excessive device fraud, 7 counts wire fraud, 3 counts money laundering, 1 count theft of public funds, and 2 counts making materially false statements to US House of Reps. Not to forget: “Credit Card Fraud Scheme” and “Party Program Scheme.” Ravche and Nancy Marks charged cards repeatedly without authorization, obtained $44,800 and placed the coins into Santo’s personal bank account while falsely listing the contributions to the FEC. The soon to be DC Universe duo (because Marvel would NEVER) submitted false reports inflating numbers to ensure their campaign qualified to receive support in the amount of $250,000. Yes, Ivy Rose, do you have a question? It says that George Santos admitted to part of the allegations. Mmhm that is correct, he also has been seen attempting to gain attention regarding the Middle East Conflict but that will be for a different lesson when we deep dive… Acting.