I’m Sellin’ Out

TransGriot readers, I have an announcement to make.

Today I’m changing my voter registration to Republican and joining the ever expanding ranks of freethinkng Black people rushing to get off the Democrat plantation.

We African-Americans have always been conservative, and I’m tired of fighting for people that won’t take responsibility for their own lives, including you whiny butt transgender people, and not getting paid for it.

I’ve been in negotiations with News Corporation and I’m pleased to announce that I will become a contributor to various Fox News programs as their expert on the Homosexual Agenda. I will also be leaving Bilerico and starting my new syndicated conservative column on Monday. I’m on the verge of finalizing a book deal with Regnery Publishing to write an expose on the transgender rights movement.

So I’ll have to give up my Black Like Me card. Big deal. Clarence Thomas, Ken Blackwell and Condoleezza Rice are doing wonderfully well for themselves. What did the black communty, much less the transgender community, ever do for me except give me grief?

That reminds me, I need to return those calls from Project 21 and the High Impact Leadership Coalition. They’ve been asking me for information about the transgender community and I’m being paid a nice consulting fee for it.

I’m ready to start rocking designer suits, have Prada purses filled with cash and wear Ferragamo pumps. Oh yeah, that reminds me, my mentor Condi and I are going shoe shopping in New York next week.

I’m leaving my open and affirming church to attend a real Bible believing one that won’t tolerate your liberal America-hating family destroying agenda. With the advance check I just got from News Corporation, I have enough cash to not only get that Beemer I had my eye on last week and move back to Texas, I’m gonna do some surgical tune-ups on my body before I make my first television appearance on The O’Reilly Factor.

I’ve also had discussions with the Log Cabin Republicans about becoming the first African-American transgender Republican delegate. They’re already clearing a spot for me in the Kentucky Republican Party delegation if i want it, and they’ve hinted that they may give me a prime time speaking slot at the convention in Minneapolis.

So farewell, TransGriot readers. This freethinking sistah is going back home to the Party of Lincoln.

And oh yeah, before you start sending me hate mail, check the date of the post.

5 thoughts on “I’m Sellin’ Out”

  1. Girllllllllllllllll You too crazy! You wouldn’t last one second in that environment. That is the best April Fool stunt I’ve heard ever!

  2. Cha-ching!

    Party of Lincoln? Only think Lincoln would recognize are the
    Navigators parked outside the Hilton.

    Methinks you’d better cash that GOP check real fast. It probably has more rubber in it than a Trojan factory.

  3. I remember back in my old life, and my involvement in the GOP. When I first got involved the only question I can remember being asked was, “You pay taxes?” Since then, though,not much difference between the parties that I can see.

    Democrats like Barney Frank and Ted Kennedy hate us, or promise everything giving nothing. And those Republican’s not hating us simply don’t care.

    I guess looking back, now it makes sense! Now if I can figure out how to reinstate my membership in “Focus on the Family”, having transitoned…..

  4. Monica Roberts

    From where I sit as an African-American, there is a wide chasm between te GOP and the Democratic party.

    All you have to do is look at the mebership rolls. The Democratic party is a multicultural, multiracial contentious at times big tent. Not so for the GOP and its monoracial makeup.

    The last seven years have proven beyond a shadow of a doubt there iss a major difference in how this country runs and the culture of it when Dems are in charge as opposed to republicans.

    Could you imagine the Iraq War happening if the rightful winner in 2000 Al Gore had been occupying the White House?

    The GOP has increasingly become a shirll collection of anti-government, anti-constitutionalist borderline fascists.

  5. Not to mention theocrats.
    The only hope for the Right is Libertarianism (i.e. hippies that have studied economics)… and they aren’t even a 3rd party.
    Closest to a Libertarian is Ron Paul (but I believe he’s a strict constitutionalist, and wants to secure the borders so he’s not completely Libertarian; either way he doesn’t stand a chance)

    Social conservatism sucks

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